So Dead Around Here

[jadey]

hmmm everyone is bi...yah i could believe that...i think it just varies in degrees. like i think im very on the straight side but if angelina jolie every came on to me..hell yah id tap that. haha..but otherwise..no i dont think im in to girls.

oh and i told my friends bout that corny line thing and they laughed at me and now they keep giving me those lines haha...nothing tops the one that guy gave me tho.

oh and other random news...yup the basement of building was on fire. well just the boiler...apparently it has a faulty switch or something. fire department came and took care of it..but they said (i live on the third floor of an office building) if i wanna stay here tonight all the windows have to open. which suxs cuz its freakin cold!

[Reikou Hitakana]

I could top it, but it'd be in really, super, ultra bad taste [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I don't think it would completely destroy our friendship, but it'd definately put a lot of unwanted strain on it. He'd be nervoud about goofing off with me since he wouldn't feel comfortable. Examples of how we clown around. We have a running gag about "the 1 foot rule" 1 foot radius around....well you get it. So we're laways like "I'm not touching you!" making it a point to stay about 1 foot away [img]tongue.gif[/img] I love goofing around and I'm not attracted to him at all because he's so straight (and republican ;P ) and his GF is also my friend so [img]tongue.gif[/img] I just don't want to lose the relationship we have because it's hella fun goofing off with him.

-Reikou

[Lady Elanor]

@Reikou: Think I understand that very well. Just a few days ago I was on a party and the guys made great fun about a boy who had been their friend until they found out that he is gay. I was shocked about their reactions 'cause just one of them still is thinking of him as a friend. And one is totally catholic and was absolutely disgusted.
No, I can't understand this world.

[yukawai]

I'm for the everybody bi thing as well, and like Jadey, with different kind of levels.

I have this theory that most people just never really -ask- themself if they were or not. I mean, when I ask they always say "I have nothing against them but I'm totaly straight!" and when I ask if they ever asked themself if they were otherwise they go all sheep ( dumb look + "beeeeeh....?") and usualy go into "I would -know- if I was gay!"

Well, no, not really.

I mean, most straight-claiming people, when asked, answer they never asked themself if they were straight; they just are. It is like they think homosexual people just have this incredible lust for the same sex that tells right away what their preferance is.

I'm not sure I'm wording this right but anyway I feel like if most people would just stop a bit and ask themself seriously what they liked and are looking for in a person is, and if the gender really does matter after all, well, a lot of confusion could be avoid. I don't care what answer you've found or not, but I think it's fair to really ask yourself before answering.

Before, I never asked myself if I was gay, bi or straight, and when my good friend (girl) asked me out I just said yes. Seems like she was scared I wouldn't like girls. It's not that I like girls or boys, it's that I liked her. I've read this thing in a shounen-ai fanfiction about Touya and Yuki from card captor that I found so true after though I read it years ago: it was Touya musing about his sexuality because of his feelings for Yuki, and finally saying "I'm not for boys or for girls, I'm just Yuki-centric". I feel that if you love the person well you love that person, not especialy his/her hair color, height, weight, job. Same goes for gender.

Maybe it's a bit corny (not as much as that pick-up line, Jadey.That was so funny)
but it's just how I feel about it.

Reikou: to have(and share) the doujins would be real great of you! ^^

[heartberry]

Well, I am not sure about the idea of everyone being bi. I mean, it wouldn't bother me if someone was gay. Let people do what they want to do, as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others. I also wouldn't be that weirded out if I found out someone I knew was gay, just surprised, I might not believe it at first either. (okay honestly I would be a little weirded out if I was the object of their affection, but I would be like that toward anyone who liked me and I didn't like them back)I personally would not be attracted to another girl, and I know I wouldn't. I mean I can love another woman, but only as a friend, and that is as far as it goes, I would never be "in love". I know that I can only be attracted to guys in that way. I also would like to have a family one day, and you may think, you can still have that but I think I would prefer to have a child genetically related to both of us. I don't know how you may feel about that though.

[jadey]

wow...thats awesome that you actually asked a professor. that was very interesting. and i agree with the first idea he presented. i think we may be oversimplifying when we say it all comes down to every having diff degrees of bi. because i think we still havent determined whether its because of social influences or biological influences. i mean the same can be said for anything right...are we born anti-social. are we born straight, gay, murderous, etc.

but on the second theory...i didnt understand it. what point is he trying to get across?

[Lady Elanor]

Thank you, Reikou. I found it very interesting. Sometimes I ask myself what would have happened if I had grown up in a society where it's common that women love women. I really don't know but now and in this life I can hardly imagine loving a woman or even be attracted by one. But who knows what the future will bring, things can change very fast.

I wanna thank you all. I absolutely love this community. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Reikou Hitakana]

Ok, talked to my prof, and got some interesting results. If you can track down some of the authors work, you should read it, especially the Blumer ones. Though in short, Blumer basically states that we are as others perceive our reactions to their reactions (Very cyclical pattern of I interpert your reacion in one way, you interpert mine, and so forth).

Here's the initial mail I wrote:

Ok, so this isn't really class related so if you're too busy at the moment,
> or whatever, you don't need to respond. But some of my friends and myself
> got into a discussion of the social contruction of gender
> identity/sexuality, and I was wondering if we could get some input from you
> on the matter. Specifically, one of my friends made the assertion that
> everyone is bisexual to some degree, and it's a question of socialization
> that cements a final position (generally). Anyway, we were wondering if we
> could get a professional's opinion on the subject. I realize that there
> are probably a large number of basic viewpoints, but we're just curious to
> see what social theorists have to say on the matter (and if you know of any
> particular papers on the matter that would make for a good read, we'd love
> to see them). Anyway, again, if you're not comfortable with this, or you
> feel that this violates the basic student-teacher agreement, we don't
> expect you to respond. I just figured I'd ask since I offered to ask for
> the group.

And the response:

I don't mind answering questions like this; it's good to know people think
about sociological ideas outside of class.

As far as the claim that "everyone is bisexual," the jury is out. Freud
believed something similar to this at the beginning of the 29th century,
but his work has been severely criticized since. Other more biology-based
theories have met with unconvincing results.

While there is a lot to quibble with concerning your friend's assertion, I
think he's got the general idea right, at least as most sociologists would
see it. Because we take seriously the idea/practice of social
construction, we tend to think that while there may be some biological or
even evolutionary components to sexuality, the social and social
psychological elements are far more influential and important. That is to
say, while you may have a biological predisposition towards, say, a
certain sexual orientation, it is possible, not definite but possible,
that this biological impulse can be overwhelmed by social factors to the
point of practical non-existence.

There is a second idea that may interest you. We have been taking about
sexuality in biological terms, but what happens if you remove biology?
Sexuality becomes about individual and group identity. Therefore, the
actual biological and even physical nature of sexuality is secondary (or
less) to sexual identities. For example, you may never actually have to
experience a homosexual act to be considered homosexual. Remember Mead
and Blumer and the generalized other here; it is not an actual sexual
act or desire that makes an identity, but the other elements of shared
history, symbolism, culture, etc that are then recognized by the rest of
society, or at least certain parts of society, as different, and thus a
separate identity.

We will talk more about this last idea in class on Friday via Howard
Becker's work. He's talking about drug use, but the idea can be
extrapolated and used elsewhere. We will also cover sexuality later in
the semester.

Sexuality is always in a state of intense debate, and I admit that I am
not as familiar with the biology of sexuality as I once was, and, as you
said, there are many perspectives on this. However, the above gives you a
glimpse of some current standards in social science.

Enjoy.

[Reikou Hitakana]

Later on in the semeseter we're gonna be covering sexuality more in depth so I'll see what I can do about illicitly posting readings to anyone who wants them [img]tongue.gif[/img]

-Reikou

[miyun]

oooh. thanks Reikou. ^^

Being someone who's still stuck in a (low-standard) high school, i think most of that went way over my head. I think it's interesting though, from what i could decode... and maybe it /is/ oversimplifying, what we said, since it just seems so very convienient to just say it and be done... ._.

i'd like to read more about the subject. ^^ It's always great to learn more about things like this, because i'm living in a household that probably won't be able to deal with any of my views if i chose to air them. ><

and if you're going to be posting more stuff on the subject, i'm sure to read it. ^^=